Download A Sensitive Liberal's Guide to Life: How to Banter with Your by The Uptight Seattleite PDF

By The Uptight Seattleite

within the culture of The professional Preppy Handbook, The Uptight Seattleite is the Stephen Colbert of left-wing satire

the writer of the wildly well known Seattle Weekly suggestion column teaches american citizens far and wide the right way to include their internal leftist. Artfully balancing the cosmic with the cosmopolitan, the Uptight Seattleite (aka Adrian) delights his unswerving readers each one week with snide perception on every thing from style ("Can I pull off a Rasta beret?") to ear-bud etiquette. In A delicate Liberal's consultant to Life, he brings his savvy smugness to his widest viewers but, on subject matters akin to the hierarchy of transportation righteousness (what to do with the clunky outdated Subaru after deciding to buy a Prius) and moral habit on the supermarket, together with tips on how to deal with the horror forgetting to convey your reusable burlap sack.

different day by day suggestion covers what to learn at the bus (Vonnegut as opposed to The Kite Runner as opposed to The Economist) and feasting on the buffet of variety, with tips for capturing a condescending smile at those that don't understand how to take advantage of chopsticks. The Uptight Seattleite additionally is helping readers navigate the large matters, reminiscent of dependable parenting (which demands a mini-landfill equipment, excellent for the yard and able to be full of environmentally unfriendly diapers). for each insecure liberal-and those that like to make enjoyable of them-the Uptight Seattleite deals us laughs from the head of political correctness.

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Additional resources for A Sensitive Liberal's Guide to Life: How to Banter with Your Barista, Hug Mindfully, and Relate to Friends Who Choose Kids Over Dogs

Sample text

The winner is the competitor who successfully snatches the beer for himself out of his opponent’s hand. If the beer falls to the ground, scramble to snatch it up! No hitting or activity of any kind is allowed except the one hand wrapped around the beer. The loser must stick his face near the can of beer, and the winner then shakes it and opens it, squirting the loser with the snatch. Then the loser must chug the beer! After I chug a few beers I’m really good with girls. For instance, I knew this girl liked me because, as I talked to her, she kept looking at her watch!

For instance, you may want to make the other player blink through laughter as you slowly and seductively deep-throat a thick chocolate bar. Or maybe you will use the chocolate bar as a ridiculous mustache and start talking like a professor. Or perhaps you will act out a dramatic love scene with Gummi Bears humping. You can try to make your opponent blink by throwing the candy, juggling it, or doing something so absurd that she blinks her eyes in disbelief! You can do whatever you like with the candy to make your THE SH*TFACED GAMES 30 Shtfaced Games interior mech3_Layout 1 8/23/13 10:11 AM Page 31 opponent blink.

How to Play Two or more teams must race to be the first team to cross the finish line. Each team will have two participants. THE SH*TFACED GAMES 40 Shtfaced Games interior mech3_Layout 1 8/23/13 10:12 AM Page 41 Shtfaced Games interior mech3_Layout 1 8/23/13 10:12 AM Page 42 Player 1 sits on a skateboard representing the snowboard. Player 2 pushes Player 1 to the finish line. Player 1, while sitting on the skateboard, must hold a beer and completely finish it before crossing the finish line. The only place you may pour the beer is down your throat.

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